If you want it, you'll find a way

You probably know the saying, “Those who want something find a way. Those who don’t find an excuse.”

Can you relate to this when you think about your career?

Have you always found a way to get what you wanted? And when you haven’t, does that mean you didn’t truly want it, or could it mean that you wanted something else even more?

Why do we make excuses?

You may want to change careers, start a business, or finally share your work with other people. You may have been thinking about it for months, perhaps even years, and genuinely want to make it happen.

But whenever it is time to take a concrete step, there seems to be a reason why this is not the right moment. You need more savings before changing careers, more preparation before approaching your first customer, or more confidence before showing your work. And once one reason disappears, another often takes its place.

So I can’t help but wonder: why do we make excuses? Are we fully aware of how many things we actually want at the same time? And when our wants conflict, do we know which one has priority? Could the goal we consciously name be taking second place to something we have not yet recognized? Could that be why we keep finding reasons not to move towards something we genuinely want?

The conflict between what we want

Wanting something does not mean that every path towards it will feel acceptable. A step that brings us closer to one goal may also put something else we value at risk.

Sometimes, it is easy to recognize which goal needs to come first. An urgent problem at work can make everything else on our list feel less important. A period of financial difficulty can move earning money above finding more meaningful work. We may still care about our other goals, but our attention and effort become focused on what needs to be resolved first.

At other times, the conflict between our goals is less obvious. We may consciously want to change careers while also wanting to preserve our financial security, avoid becoming a beginner again, or have enough time for our family and friends. We may recognize all of these wants without realizing how much they influence the way we respond to each opportunity.

What feels most important can also influence what stands out to us. When change is a clear priority, we may notice opportunities, people who could help us, or a smaller first step. When security feels more urgent, the risks involved and the reasons to wait may become easier to see.

When deciding what to do, our brain considers what each option could bring us, what it might cost, how much effort it requires, how uncertain the outcome is, and how soon we are likely to experience the result. And not everything that shapes this evaluation enters our awareness. Wants we have not yet recognized can also influence our choices. We may experience their influence as resistance, hesitation, or a sense that the moment is not quite right, without understanding what is causing that response. The reasons we find for not moving forward may then sound like excuses, even to us.

Naming that want does not make the conflict disappear. But it turns something that was shaping our choices outside our awareness into something we can consciously work with.

Excuses as clues to what we might be missing

The next time we notice ourselves making an excuse, we can look at it as a clue. What does the step in front of us seem to threaten? What are we afraid we might lose if we take it? And is that loss truly necessary, or have we assumed that there is only one possible way forward?

Once we understand everything involved in the decision, we can approach it more intentionally. We may realize, for example, that financial security truly needs to come first right now. In that case, we can accept it as our current priority without repeatedly telling ourselves that we only need a little more preparation.

We may also recognize an old way of protecting ourselves that no longer reflects what we want today. What once helped us avoid a risk or feel more secure may have become an automatic response that we no longer want to guide our choices.

Or we may begin looking for a path that makes room for both goals. We could save enough money to cover a defined period without a salary and decide which signs of progress we want to see during that time. We could spend several evenings developing our idea without giving up all the time we want to spend with people we care about.

We may not be able to satisfy every want completely or avoid every risk. But when we see the whole equation, we can decide which compromises we are willing to make and which conditions our path needs to include.

Finding a way towards our real priority

Ways and excuses may not be as different as they first appear. An excuse can be a way of protecting something important when we cannot yet see a path that includes it.

Once we understand what we are trying to achieve and what we are trying to preserve, our reasons can become conditions for a more workable plan. Instead of choosing between two extremes, we can begin constructing a path that takes more of what matters to us into account.

Perhaps we have been finding ways all along, only not always towards the goal we consciously named.

So if we become aware of everything we want and intentional about how we pursue it, does that mean we will always find a way towards our goal?